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Choosing Your Bridal Party Attendants

It is now time to choose your wedding attendants.  You may have many questions regarding this important decision.  Of course it’s a special day where you will spend precious memories with close friends and family, but how do you single out and select the few that will represent you and your soon to be husband?

It is a special honor and an important responsibility to be part of a wedding party. The bride and groom usually choose brothers, sisters, close relatives, or best friends.  You as the bride or groom, should take into consideration whether or not this person is will accept the responsibility, and most importantly, if they can afford it. Keep in mind that there is the wedding attire they will be responsible for, as well as the pre-wedding parties, not to mention possible travel expenses. In any case, you are bound to hurt someone’s feelings, so make your choices wisely.

Sometimes when it is a second marriage with children involved, the bride and groom will involve them in the wedding.  Today it is extremely popular to see the children serving as the attendants, or as the ring bearer or flower girl if they are younger in age.

Usually the bride and groom will choose around two to six attendants, and the ring bearer/flower girl.  The actual number of attendants may vary though, depending on the size and formality of the wedding.  It has been customary to have one usher and one corresponding bridesmaid for every 50-55 guests. With the changing times, couples sway from what is dictated as customary.  It is really up to the bride and groom how many attendants they see fit for their function. Keep in mind that the more people you have in your bridal party, the more problems you may encounter, especially when it comes time to decide on a style and color dress for everyone. You may also be on a limited budget, which can play an important role in deciding how many attendants you should choose.  Keep in mind that you will have to buy a wedding party gift for each attendant, and for the bridesmaids, their bouquets.

It is important that you tell your attendants what help you expect from them before they give you an answer of acceptance.  If you don’t expect much help, this isn’t necessary however it is always best to be upfront with people. Tell them what you think the cost of their wedding attire may be, and inform them of a possible bridal shower cost, if the rest of the party decides on planning a shower.  It is especially important to be upfront with the Maid or Matron of Honor, being that she may be your right hand in picking things out, and preparing for many aspects of the wedding.

Another important thing to keep in mind is not to choose your bridal party too soon.  Think about how things change in your life from day to day, now year by year.  If you choose your bridal party too far in advance, you are leaving room for too much to go wrong.  You may be close to someone now, but friendships change as do people’s lives. Don’t make planning ahead a mistake for your future, especially on such an eventful day.  Even the most cautious bride and groom have to keep in mind that people have lives of their own, some even families with small children, which may definitely take precedence over your special day.  If you wish to have someone in your wedding but they have a hectic lifestyle, small children, or who are outright just not reliable, why not designate them a role of handing out wedding programs, or giving a reading during the ceremony.

Once you have chosen your bridal party, make sure that everyone is aware of your choices.  This will be especially helpful if you have a handful of close friends, but are forced to choose only a few.  Keep in mind that you don’t owe explanations to anyone, but if it makes you feel better giving a small explanation as to why one was chosen over the other, be prepared to do so.  A true friend will stick around and be happy of your decisions.  

After you have chosen your bridal party, be sure to visit WeddingCram's Master Checklist Page. We have listed some links below to help keep you and your bridal party organized. They are printer friendly so be sure to make a copy for everyone in your bridal party.

If you would like to print your own bachelor, bachelorette, or wedding rehearsal invites, visit our  stationery section.  We offer affordable, easy to print stationery & envelope seals.  If you have any questions please email us.

 

Links of Interest:

Bridal Party Gifts and Accessories

Bachelor(ette) Party Checklist

Bridal Party Checklist

Bridal Shower Checklist

Bridesmaids Alterations

Rehearsal Dinner Invite/Checklist

 


 
 

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